Four Basic Ingredients For Building Positive Relationships
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To be effective with child-training techniques, you must be willing to take the time and to make the effort in building positive relationships with your children.
Mutual Respect
Respect is earned. It comes from showing respect to others. To establish this mutual respect, fathers must be willing to demonstrate respect for their children. Minimize negative talk. When atmosphere is friendly, talk with children and develop a plan for respecting each other.
Making Time For Fun
The most important ingredient of time is quality not quantity. Plan to spend some time with each child during the week. It may be daily when possible. Plan jointly with your children. Make it a special time. Plan other things around family time instead of vice versa.
Encouragement
Believe in your children. Minimize the
importance of childrens mistakes while recognizing their assets and strengths. That does not mean to overlook misbehavior.
Communicate Love
Tell your children, by words and actions, that you love them. Love is related through your attitude and allowing them to develop responsibility and independence.
Source: The Parent's Handbook,
Don Dinkmeyer & Gary D. McKay
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7 Building Blocks of Capable People
(Seven Building Blocks for your Children)
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_ Perceptions of personal capabilities.
_ Perceptions of significance in primary relationships
contribute in meaningful ways.
_ Perceptions of personal power or influence over life.
_ Intrapersonal skills EThe ability to understand self,
self-discipline and self-control.
_ Interpersonal skills EAbility to work with others.
_ Systemic skills EAbility to respond to limits and
consequences of everyday life with responsibility,
adaptability, flexibility and integrity.
_ Judgmental skills EAbility to use wisdom and evaluate
situations according to appropriate values.
Source: Raising Self-Reliant Children In A
Self-Indulgent World, Glenn and Nelsen.
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Fathering: It takes work
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Fatherhood was meant to be a deeply satisfying experience. Few things are more rewarding emotionally than the delight a man gets from satisfactorily guiding his children from birth through their various stages of development until they are off on their own. No one is born a good father. It is a matter of patience, study, and love. It is also a matter of information.
Source: How to Father, Dr. Fitzhugh Dodson
Fathers need to learn everything they can about children from the Bible, and other good books and people. I strongly recommend reading the book of Proverbs: a book about life with God and without God.
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Discipline your Children:
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Part I
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When you discipline your children, help them to feel bad about their misbehavior but good about themselves.
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The more children like themselves the more they like to behave themselves.
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The best way to get your children to listen is for you to listen.
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The main goals for fathers:
Help children gain Self-Esteem and Self-Discipline.
Source: The One Minute Father, Spencer Johnson, MD
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Part II
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1. Emphasis that you very unhappy their decision.
2. Have them confess to you that they are sorry and
ask you for forgiveness.
3. Have them confess to God that they are sorry. I do not
recommend them ask God for forgiveness if they are
not a Christian. Just have understood that they have
disobeyed God and that they should tell God they are
sorry. Later that day when they can think more clearly
share with them the gospel if they will listen and how
Jesus and save them and forgive them.
4. Have them confess to those who they have wronged,
and that they are sorry and ask them for forgiveness.
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